Labor Day 2010

Just some fun photos we took to capture the moments of our annual Labor Day getaway. I LOVE traditions! This is one we always enjoy & look forward to each year. I remember being newly pregnant with Kyle at our very first one...now just look at us!

Thanks for the Icees Uncle Jeff!

These would be my freshly painted-oh-needed-so badly-because-I-can't-reach-my-toes-for-long- Thank you, my sweet hubby!!!

The first step back is the hardest

Happens every time. July comes and before I know it, half the month is gone. Time to mentally prepare for back-to-school mode. I think the mental preparation is the hardest part for me.

Not ready to give up the time with my kids.

Not ready for the every day madness routines.

Not ready to realize all the things I wish I had done through the summer and didn't.

Not ready to end our spontaneous, fun-filled days.

This summer especially. As the end of July got closer I began to get a little anxious. I even began to feel a little overwhelmed at the "unknown." This would be a BIG school year of change for us.

First of all, I will have 3 children at 3 different schools. All starting at different times. (I take my children to school each day) PLUS seminary...where will that fit into our morning routine?!? Wait that reminds me...

No, no, no. FIRST of all, my son is starting HIGH SCHOOL!!!! That alone takes alot of mental preparation. I know we as parents say and hear it all the time, "They just grow up so fast", "Where does the time go", and "I can't believe my child is this old!"

But, I will say it again...

It just doesn't seem possible. My first born starting high school. I feel like I was just there. I can't believe he's old enough to face all the pressures and challenges that high school brings. Wow!

Then, Cameron would be switching schools to attend the all-5th grade school, so that would be a big change for her. She would be switching classes also on top of that, which is completely new to her. She is one who doesn't like to alter from her routine much. There again, I was a little uneasy and unsure.

Next. (Since my order has been rearranged according to importance) My job as a preschool teacher would be going from part-time to full time. Which I am very excited about, it is what I wanted...but with all the changes it had me a little nervous. Especially after finding out the other teacher I work with would not be starting until mid September, so I would be starting out the year with 16 new children and a sub.

Then, not to mention, I would be 6 months preggo starting school. I just wasn't sure as to how it was all going to go. Just alot of change. Then to have it all change again in November when sweet baby is born, and readjust to all new routines just had me a little uncertain.

But, we knew it was unevitable. It was coming. So we shopped early for school supplies and enjoyed our last days of our 2010 summer. Soon we would be meeting the teachers. I was feeling quite prepared, yet anxious.

Kyle had been "hoping" for a certain teacher. Well, this certain teacher happened to be a dear friend of mine. So to try and protect him from disappointment, I kept trying to persuade him to think of a different teacher. Truly thinking there was NO way Kyle was going to get her as a teacher. Until my phone rang and it was her. She pretended I was just another name on her list of parents to call and said, "Mrs Holland, I just wanted you to know I am going to be your son's teacher this year." It took a few minutes for me to actually believe her, but I couldn't wait to tell Kyle the news!! When I told him, his eyes completely lit up and were filled with excitement! And responded with, "I KNEW she was going to be my teacher!! You know why mom? Because I did this!" ( he proceeds to bow his head and close his eyes) My heart melted. It was so sweet! He said it with such faith and surety. I immediately had the feeling that this year would be just fine. That everything would work out just like it always does. Not just because Kyle got the teacher he wanted, but because my faith was renewed. This reminded me of last school year when there was just one teacher that I did not want Kyle to get. Any of the others would be great, I just didn't want a certain one for him. Well, Kyle had different ideas and that was the only teacher he wanted. His heart was set on her because she came to his class and met them all the year before and gave them a tour of her classroom. Well, when we went to the school to find out who our teachers were, I quickly looked up his name and saw it under that teacher. I was so disappointed. When he saw it he shouted, "YES! I got the teacher I wanted!" I shook my head and said, "You sure did. Your wish came true." He said,

"No mom, I didn't wish for her...I prayed for her."

I believe him when he says these sweet things. He doesn't say them over everything. I can tell certain things are important enough to bring him to personal prayer. I love it!

And... she was an exceptional teacher! Kyle had a wonderful year, what a blessing she was!

So...my uncertainty turned to faith.

I began to look forward to the new year and all the changes it would bring. A quote I love says,

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

I choose to grow.

It has been a month since school started and I am happy to report, it has been FABULOUS!! The kids are doing wonderful, The schedules all fall into place, I feel GREAT, I have fallen in love with my preschoolers, and everything has worked out fantastically!

His plan

I believe in forever. I believe in Him. I believe in His plan.

Although I am still trying to figure it all out, and will for a long time, I love to see the way He unfolds profound pieces of that plan so clearly... so perfectly...so COMPLETELY.

I have always wanted a daughter. Even though I love both of my boys more than life, with each of them, I had secretly hoped they were my little girl I always thought I would have.

*Side Note: I met Cameron (my step-daughter, even though I despise that word...it sounds so evil) when she was just 21 months old. I fell in love with her. She was adorable. I knew that she already had a mommy, so I knew I had to be very careful. And I knew that it wouldn't be easy. But she made her way into my heart quickly. I truly love her as my own & consider her my own in a sense. We are raising her and have complete custody of her. So I know she is a daughter to me, and nothing will ever change that.*

So during these months when all I could think about was this special spirit that we believed we had waiting for us, I started thinking about names. It wasn't hard. The only names coming to me were precious girl names and then, deep in my heart and soul, I believed this would be my little girl.

Jeremy and I have been blessed with amazing women in our lives. Our mothers are absolutely the BEST! Truly. Our grandmothers...SO SPECIAL!! I have always loved being named after my grandmother. So we knew we wanted our little girl to have a beautiful name to reflect the lovely women in our family and to have a special link to them.

I have always loved the name Carly. It is so feminine, dainty, & girly to me. When thinking about the baby and possible names I discovered that when I spelled the name K-a-r-L-e-e, it would contain the name Lee.

My mother's middle name and her maiden name is Lee.

Also in KarLee, is the name Laree. My grandmother's name. My middle name. I loved it!!

And for middle names we knew we wanted the name to represent Jeremy's side of fabulous women.

Jeremy's grandmother's name is Katie. His mother's middle name is Catherine. We fell in love with a mixture of the 2 names. Kate. (when you look up the name Catherine, Kate is listed as a form of that name) Wow! Her middle name would be after BOTH of them! (This also continued our pattern of "K or C" names for each of our children)

Therefore, we knew immediately if she was a girl, she would be our precious:

KarLee Kate

That was it! No more thinking of names.

We knew.

And we all adored it! It gave me goose bumps just to think about it.

So we referred to baby as, KarLee.

We had our second ultrasound on May 27th. Too early to tell for sure, but doc said he gave a 90% chance it was a girl. So he scheduled the next ultrasound for 4 weeks later and said he would know for sure.

We all wanted a girl. Even the big brothers.

But more than anyone, big sis Cameron really wanted a sister. She has asked us for a sister since the day her little brother was born! Even when we explained to her that we were probably not going to have anymore, she still asked. And I know she didn't stop wishing & praying for one!

Since we had been calling her KarLee all along, I did need to explain to them that there was a chance she might not be a girl. Just incase. But, it didn't stop us. Even when people asked about boy names, we told them we didn't think we needed one.

June 18th. Ultrasound day.

Little did I know what a special & memorable day this would be for us.

We brought Cameron.

They took us right back and not long after looking at measurements and sizes, she said, "Do you want to know what you are having?" Of course, we all replied, "Yes!"

"You are having a... GIRL."

I will never forget that moment.

Tears of complete joy streamed down my face. I looked at Jeremy & Cam.

Jeremy smiled ever so sweetly at me.

He grinned from ear to ear.

He laughed.

Cam's eyes were overflowing with excitement. We asked the tech to please let Cameron hear KarLee's heartbeat. She did. Cameron smiled even bigger. Then they moved me to a different room and J & C went to the waiting room. Which was nice. I had quite a few moments to myself, waiting for the doctor. The door closed and the tears came again. I offered heartfelt prayers of sincere gratitiude.

It was so much more than just confirming the sex of our baby.

It confirmed to me what I felt in my heart all along.

It confirmed to me again, that God knows me.

He knows my desires. He answers prayers. He grants me joy.

He loves me.

I couldn't contain my excitement so I sent out a text to some special people, letting them know we were having a girl. Then sent a text to my hubby in the other room, thanking him for helping to make all my dreams come true.

When the doctor came in he congratulated me, (he knew we wanted a girl) then he said, "It looks like you are a little farther along then we thought, your new due date is

November 27th."

Wow. My heart truly skipped a beat. Joy filled my soul. My eyes were once again wet.

Again, I felt the love of my Father in Heaven. I felt as though I could almost reach out and touch the link between heaven and earth.

November 27th.

May just sound like a regular day. But not to our family. This is Jeremy's grandmothers birthday. Katie V's special day that she was brought into this world. She passed away in 2004 and we miss her dearly. Jeremy has a special love for her that I admire. He loves to tell stories about her and we love to reminisce of special times spent with her. We think of her often and smile when we think of her cute chuckle. We pull out her cookbook and make recipes out of it, just because it was hers. We use her funny little phrases sometimes, and then we both just laugh. We tell the kids the special names she use to call them, like "Miss Molly", and "turtle." We talk about her "magic" cookies and how they could cure anything, especially a grouchy or fussy little boy.

And even though we know our sweet KarLee may not be born on this exact day, we know families are special. We know that God's plan is so much more greater than we could ever imagine. If this pregnancy had gone according to my plan, the timing and the whole experience would have been so different.

We know He leads our lives and we are proud of that.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We also know that:

In all we do, when we acknowledge Him, He will direct our paths.

And for these things, I am ever SO grateful!!