If you know me, you know I love children. I adore babies. I love everything about them. I love the scripture in Matthew 18, when the disciples came unto Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And Jesus called a little child and set him in the midst of them. Jesus said, "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble themselves as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
And my favorite part: "And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me."
Children are special. Our children are extremely special... to us. My life would not be complete without them. For awhile, I did feel complete. Then, I couldn't help but feeling quite often, incomplete, as though something was missing. Hard to describe even. It couldn't possibly be another child, because our family was perfect. His, mine, ours...yet all OURS. Besides, our children were so much older. Our oldest was 12 (when I began to feel this way) and our youngest was 5! Too many years apart to have another one!! I had told everyone we were "finished." Even though, every time the words came out, I knew deep inside I would LOVE to have another one. But figured that was just the baby lover in me.
So, just like when anything else is missing there are only 2 things to do. Pray first, then look for it! And so I did. I prayed...ALOT!
During that time, Jeremy and I sat in each other's arms one night, underneath the moon and stars. We discussed life. OUR life. How grateful we were to be where we were, yet a little uncertain of what was next...for we BOTH agreed something was missing. My awesome hubby felt it too! We both decided to each go on a personal search.
Sweet little inspirations filled my daily thoughts.
I recalled a special conversation with my father in law one Christmas time when he saw me holding a friends baby. He walked by and said, "You know, you have a special sparkle in your eye when you have one of those in your arms. When are you going to have another one?" (Almost took my breath away when he said it...only because you would have to know him...but it touched my heart)
And as I prayed about this, my answer was the same each time. "Melissa, you already know what is missing." We experienced more sweet inspirations during this time, special ones from each of our children at different times, all confirming to us that we do not want any empty chairs in heaven.
For months, I could not stop thinking about a precious baby. Actually, it was all I could think about. Consumed my every thought, like NEVER before.
I looked into my heart and discovered what I already knew. Our family was not complete.
We have another child waiting for us.
This we KNEW. And even though it had been confirmed to us, I still tried to rationalize all the "worldly" factors. But for every excuse I came up with there was another heartfelt answer to take it's place!
So, excitedly, I looked at the calendar and started planning it all! I had decided when I wanted to start trying & when I would like the baby to be born, all conforming to our life and the way I thought would be wonderful! When I saw that it was not going according to my desires, I got a little frustrated. My husband just laughed a little and said, "I think it's kind of funny that you are trying to tell God how YOU want this all to go."
He was right. Oh, so right.
This was such a special time for us, but we were not going to tell anyone that we were trying. (well, except for my sweet mother...she is such a blessing to me and I needed her encouragement) We wanted to tell our loved ones in a special way when we had good news to share.
On Mother's Day, coming home from church, each of our children were given a personal letter and their own ultrasound picture from their baby. As they each read their letter, I watched as their eyes grew bigger in excitement mixed with a little confusion. We explained that yes, WE ARE HAVING A BABY!
They were so precious and so thrilled! They couldn't believe it!
Our day of excitement continued...we had my mother and family over for lunch. After everyone ate, grandma received a card from each of our children. She read all 3 and loved them, but still had one more card to read that said grandma on the outside. She knew right away! I told her to keep reading, then she saw the ultrasound photo. She was over joyed! Then the tears came. For her and I.
Next stop...Nana & papa's house.
The kids had been holding their special secret in all day. (We asked them not to say anything until the grandparents read their letters) After being at N & P's for just a short while (minutes) they were busting at the seams. Kyle came over and whispered to me, "Can we PLEASE tell them now?"
The kids went to give their cards to nana, and Chris said, "Papa you might want to come over for this." So he came over and watched nana open her Mother's Day cards. Each card contained a gift certificate to fun places. Then they handed her a scrapbook page, that summarized each gift cert. and it's monetarily worth, then turned it over with an ultrasound photo that read, A gift of love that will last forever...priceless!
They were also thrilled! What a SPECIAL day!
